Excitement never really set in until well after we were on our way. I attribute it to turbulence actually. With two weeks of ailment under my belt, it took the subtle fear of headwind jostling the cabin around high above the Rocky mountains which separated us from our destination. Packing stimulated a little enthusiasm; counting the days and worrying whether the threat of rain would turn into actuality and make the springtime clothing useless at protecting me from the elements. Even so, the days I'll be spending out of doors are still a bit off. Over the past month I had been pushing myself to really get excited to go to an Eden of green and visit one of the most influential people in my life, but something prevented my emotions to be so free.
Until the air set them free. Until the uninhibited and emotionless turbulence broke m barriers, my protections, my certainties and uncertainties and instilled a careful seed of blissful excitement. It feels proper now, where I am with my excitement, where before it was a feeling of errors to be how I was. The two I'm traveling with were far more enthusiastic long before I was; and perhaps one of them was a little forceful at trying to get me to be as outwardly joyful as he was. That is certainly not my way and maybe it repressed my emotions even more. Alas, things are back to normal sitting elbow to elbow with both of them.
One drawback to my sudden realization is the lack of space and strange silence an airplane affords all of its passengers. Rarely does anyone hear an exuberant conversation taking place. Consequently, this could be a very American attitude which suddenly rubs me the wrong way. I want to scream and jump and dance with elation at the perfect journey I'm on.
My love and my best friend traveling hundreds of miles to visit my mentor, idol, goddess and friend, who happens to have been a former teacher to all of us; and then after four marvelous days in Oregon, it's off to the most magical place in America (perhaps) where we'll be able to celebrate my love's birthday! Magical, inspirational, beautiful, and exciting. And though I've logically known and understood this for ten months or more, the complete impact on my psyche just occurred thirty minutes into flight.
Though I don't see it, my smile is stuck on my face. I'm not tired anymore and the remnants of sickness are having far less effect on my mind.
We're on our way.
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