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Welcome to A Writer's Landscape!

You have entered the realm of my mind where words play with the fabric of our existence. This is the map of my imagination: the very foundations of inspiration, musing, and thought splayed for your wandering eyes. Dive deep into the tides of these forces and experience my reality, my fantasy, my world; and if you should be so inclined, share your words with this land.

Peace and Love!

J Hart F

Monday, June 14, 2010

Questions for the Mind

Answers are lost on the wayside along the path I blindly follow, even if the choices I make alter the progression in stride. no questions arise, begging a realization of nonsense in the desire for knowledge for which there is no inquiry.

Perhaps the questions will come, and the answers will arrive with vigor, once the direction is determined and seen. Only the destination matters, truly, when it comes to my concerns; however wading or struggling suffices the burdens of growth in an environment supposedly geared for personal pursuits in glory. If the answers to life immediately presented are lost, then so must I be. Am I the very question, and by acknowledging this subtle observance will the world become enriched? What kind of question is served by me, other than ones pertaining to my direction? Regardless of the direction, me as the inquiry serves no better purpose, perhaps, than motionlessness in life. I know who I am, where my desires dream, how motivation arises from where my imagination roams, and what I came to do.

What else is there?

Is that the question? A very thought which belongs somewhere else than in my mind? I care not for restless thoughts which only make the enjoyment of life suspect to whimsical achievements deterred from the main objective. What purpose is that served? Experience, perhaps; but I feel the necessary experiences which will influence in ways I need already await my arrival down the future avenue of my path I walk. Is that a naive thought, wrought with desires and dreams for an easy life?

Am I naive?

Maybe this is the question that needs answers in order for progression... The very thought makes me ill. I very much wish to not be naive, innocent, young, wet behind the ears... however you put it. I feel I know a lot about this life, this planet, this universe; but then I look at the immediate reality and am lost searching. My naivety seems part of an unrealistic expectation to succeed in an immediate reality that holds no permanence over my soul.

Have I stepped off the proper path somehow? Stepped away from a predetermined existence that I believed was the proper course and somehow lost myself in a different world?

Well then... That is a question loaded with many answers that I dare not know. And if that's the case, is knowing them truly going to help me jump back to the path I want to be on. Will that make me happier than I am now, knowing the circumstances of this immediacy truly isn't meant to be? Whether or not I am naive in this life, the life I'm leading now with my current job and the track of schooling I'm on and the relationship I'm in, I live to be happy and to know and to succeed. I feel I am failing, ultimately, and that spurns these questions into existence for which I search answers I worry I will not attain. Wondering aimlessly if there is something else to life that I do not have doesn't serve me any better than creating a pit of despair for which I will struggle to climb out of. If the path set forth for me is pulled asunder from my feet and replaced by something less intriguing, fulfilling, and real... then there is a problem which I must solve.

Understanding that the acquisition of knowledge to these questions posed is little more than helpful instigates a determination to create the proper existence for myself. Knowing I create my own happiness causes me grief, because I know I am not happy where I am in many things in my life. Even so, I know this will help me further my ambitions.

Ultimately... perhaps I an naive where I am, but it's not where I want to be. There is always something else but I'll never know if it's the right something unless I get there and experiment to find out. This might be a waste of time, but I'll have learned something nonetheless. And if my path is to experience everything I can, the lows and highs of emotions or the fascinating or boring, then I will have to take it in stride. I'll never know exactly where I'm going along the path, what sights I'll see... But I already know where I'll end up because that's what I've created for myself out of what was given to me from the powers that be. Perhaps my example will lead others on. Perhaps they will learn from me what I have failed to learn for myself.

And here I am... oddly contented by a rambling of my thoughts which serves no more purpose than to set straight the ideas I've already had in the past which somehow became muddled with abstract torture created by an allowance from myself. And now I move on.

1 comment:

  1. I love that you sort out your thoughts on paper (well - paper like thing). That, my friend, is pretty organized. But isn't it a little scary?
    I would be TERRIFIED if people knew what was going on in my head when I was trying to clean the cobwebs out.